Very Cloudy Days

Here and now, my brain doesn't work properly, my feeling tremble all the time. Everytime I think about a figure, my heart wounds and my eyes start to drop some tears.

These are the days of uncertainty, the days of clouds darkening the sky. The days that I couldn't find out what first thing to do and what should be wait.

I don't even know how to pray.

Every evening when I dropped by to hospital where she's been taking care, and everytime I stand by her bed in ICU room, I hardly ever hold my tears. Yet, I don't have any idea what to do or to pray, knowing that myself is not a very religious person.
I know that God understands, and I keep on believing that God wouldn't do anything to harm my mom but only for her own sake.
I keep on whispering words to her, about the house that has been taken care, and my kids that she has nothing to worry about.

But I don't know how to pray.

I always feel useless and all I can do just stare at her with a swollen eyes and a belief, that God will settle things up, as usual.

I knew He would.

I just knew it.