Photos of Life

Why do we keep photos? 

Let's be honest, how many photos are saved in your phone gallery?
As myself,  I have around 7 thousand photos and videos in my phone gallery.

Although I have kept some of those photos in my facebook, I still hasn't got motivation to delete the rest from my phone. Maybe later ;)

You know I have albums in my facebook that record my life since 2007, first time I joined this platform.
I still have photos of my kids since they're in kindergarten and elementary school. Now they're finishing their colleges. I have album of my youngest child since she was born as a tiny premature baby of 1,900 grams.

Seeing the photos, it somehow made me recalling the past. The journey of my life, the growing of the family and also the lost of family members, the work life in several companies that I had had joined...so rich. It also bring back the memory of the colleagues, my bossess, and off course the boyfriends I had during the 8 years of my glorious single-living era.

What make me smile is I still remember the songs each of them sang to me to impress me, also the books that they're trying to attract me. You see I was a member of music and booklovers community. I also had ever joined the travelling and culinary enthusiasts groups, but I guess I was more active in the music and book community. They're used to be my second family.

So, every man attracted to me must've known my passion about music and books. 
There was once a guy who dedicated his album record for me. And there's also a guy who always sang me the song with his guitar every morning before subuh through video call to wake me up. Way before them, I had a boyfriend who made a playlist of love songs for me. Even my husband now, used to take me to live music and karaoke. (Plus, expensive dinings 😊). He's the one who understand my fonds of music, books and foods. But since he's not a book reader, his effort of taking me to the bookshop is much more appreciated. Not to mention his patience for me. That's why he's the one.

My list of love songs were :
- When I see You Smile (Bad English)
- Lea (Toto)
- Hands Me Down (Matchbox 20)
- Jaga Selalu Hatimu (Seventeen)
- Fly Me to The Moon (cover by Olivia Ong)
- If You Leave Me Now (Chicago)
- Open Arms (The Journey)

However,
When I was reaching the age of 40s, something happened to me. I don't think I like music that much anymore. I somehow think music is  way too overrated. My younger me who used to think that I can't live without music, is definitely stupid. 

Tell you what, I've been living without dedicate myself to listening to music for 8 years now, and I am fine. Although it's impossible to really ignore it, because everything seems to have music as background; I have made music unimportant to me anymore.

Right now I even start to think that photos or taking photos doesn't really matter anymore. I often forgot to take photo, thank God there is still a friend of mine who always remember to take photo during our encounters.

I think I become more real now, because I don't need to pretend in any situations, or try to please people if I don't want to. I don't like to dramatize things, I don't feel ashamed of my lack of things and I don't feel bothered of people's opinion about me at all. In summary, I think I finally free of things that used to define me. 

Well, funny how life has brought us to be  different version of ourselves. All the disappointment, achievement, tears and laughter have made us to be what exactly us right now. Thank God I love this version of me now.

As I once told myself in my birthday years a go: 

I don't mind getting older, but I'd be very disappointed if I'm not getting wiser.

I hope I am.







 

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